Well, it’s time

SONY DSCWell, after three nights of trying to get Pretired Boy to sleep until 11 pm, this news is less bittersweet than sweet.

But the big news is that tomorrow I’ll be getting a vasectomy. Sorry, Pretired Boy, no little brother or sister for you!

Before we welcomed our little guy, I always felt the right number of kids was ZERO. Or, if you feel you must reproduce, two. I’d seen way too many only children grow up to be self-important, attention-seeking know-it-alls. (Not all of them, mind you. Don’t jump on my ass, only children!)

Given my advanced age, we figured we’d have a second shortly after the first to complete our little family. Well, after Pretired Mama nearly died during childbirth and we were give a strict enforced waiting period, things changed. Pretired Boy is such an even-tempered, happy little guy that somehow we knew the second one would be a terror.

Which meant it was time for The. Snip. Not a decision to be taken lightly, for sure, but an easier decision now than 10 years ago. (The cat is rolling its eyes at me right now.)

I’ve always loved kids, but dreaded the responsibility. I never even had a pet because I wanted the freedom to pick up and go if I wanted. Now, after two years of late night soothings, the minute-by-minute roller coaster of emotions and obvious expense, the time has come.

We procrastinated awhile because I was hurrying to polish off the basement project for reasons I’ve mentioned here and a few others I haven’t yet mentioned. In the middle of that, I managed to get a hernia and I’m still recovering from THAT surgery. So it’s been a whirlwind the past several months to say the least.

But tomorrow is the big day.

My balls and I have always a good, healthy relationship. I give them what they need and try not to bang them around too much and in return they don’t cause too much fuss and generally let my brain do the thinking. It saddens me to hurt the guys, but hopefully it won’t be too bad for them. Sorry, guys!

Am I nervous? Oddly, not really. Just the normal back-of-mind worry that comes with any upcoming appointment. The logistics of getting there and managing a two-year-old have been a bigger concern than the actual surgery. I’m definitely less scared of the surgery than I am at the prospect of two more years of no sleep. It will be nice to have it in the rear-view mirror, though.

So we’ll be working on ways to keep Pretired Boy grounded and not smothered with parental attention. We’ll be utilizing other peoples’ kids as proxy siblings and will try to let him roam on his own as much as possible. We have our work cut out for us, but somehow I think less work than if we had another kid.

What do you think? Any advice for raising an only child? Am I making a terrible mistake? Anyone have a good vasectomy story they want to share? 

Want to be there when I get snipped?
Want to experience a real live vasectomy in real-time? Me neither! But join me anyway while I get snipped! I’ll be on Twitter tomorrow (11/1) live-tweeting my vasectomy! (As much as they’ll allow me, anyway.) Everything from my last lonely walk with my beloved scrotum to the final frozen peas-enhanced couch-lounging! Follow me at @PretiredNick or simply look for #nicksnip on Twitter. See you there! (I think)
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16 Thoughts on “Well, it’s time

  1. Well good luck!!! 🙂
    SavvyFinancialLatina recently posted…Progress on Decreasing Our ExpensesMy Profile

  2. LOL!!

    When I was a kid, there was a DJ named Steve Dahl who had an “on the air” vasectomy.

    We stopped at 2 kids and since the second was a C-section, the doctor snipped the tubes then. No snip for me.

    Anyway, be careful with what pictures you tweet. While I greatly enjoy the writings of Pretired Nick, I have no desire to see Pretired’s *ick!
    Mr. 1500 recently posted…10 Questions and a Pizza Place with Root of GoodMy Profile

  3. Best of luck. Hope everything comes out okay. Not having more kids than you want is a pretty great thing. 🙂
    Justin @ Root of Good recently posted…October 2014 Financial UpdateMy Profile

  4. HAH! Didn’t see that post coming 🙂 Hope it all went well!

  5. Michael on November 7, 2014 at 1:17 am said:

    I discovered your website approximately 2:30am this morning when my fiance’ calls to
    tell me her “dryer heats up but does not spin”. As she told me this I was thinking “it’s probably a bad belt” Every website I checked said that the belt is the most likely culprit. So, I’ll find out later today if the belt is bad.

    I clicked on your Home page and discovered the post titled “Well, it’s time”.
    I can’t offer anything regarding your vasectomy. I can offer an opinion on what it’s like being an only child. In general, it’s great, if your parents do not treat you as if you are the only child in the universe and do not cater to your every whim. A child raised in a spoiled environment will only be disappointed and disillusioned. He will not be a part of the real world. (I’m writing this as an adult, obviously, so I can appreciate how I was raised.)
    The only thing I can suggest is, make sure you give your child guidance as to how the world really is (Your marketing experience will be valuable here) and guidance on career paths. Start as early as possible. The years go quickly. Find your child’s strengths and weaknesses and go from there.
    As an only child, he will not have brothers and sisters to run to when he needs help. Like most young people, he will think his parents “to old and irrelevant” to understand what he is going through, not realizing his parents have gone through everything he has and then some. You and your wife must be his friends as well as his parents. Not to the detriment of parental responsibilities, as he definitely needs someone that cares enough to say “no”, but help him discover his self and to develop as he is, not as you want him to be. If you tell him the truth about anything he asks, he will have the ability to make up his own mind. Teach him critical thinking. The public school system will not do this for you. It’s not part of their curriculum. Public schools are in place to brainwash your child and turn him into a good worker bee. (Read John Taylor Gatto’s books titled “The Underground History of the American Education” and “Dumbing Us Down. The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling” if you need proof.)
    Anyway, it’s 4;00am here and I have a busy day ahead of me, so I’ll have to stop writing.
    You have my email address, if you need anything answered in the “only child” category, I’ll be happy to help.


    • Pretired Nick on November 7, 2014 at 6:49 am said:

      Thank you so much for the insightful comment and great advice, Michael! We’re looking at ways to ensure he isn’t spoiled and ways to enhance his life experience to broaden his life experience in ways that would be impossible if we had more kids (more travel, for example). We’re also pretty sure we’re going to send him to Montessori instead of public school, despite the extra expense, although we’re still looking into that.
      Interestingly he’s already shown a high interest in music, although too early to say if he really has an aptitude to for it. But if he enjoys it, we’ll keep building on that.
      Hopefully our pretirements turn out to be a benefit to him, not a negative in the sense of us being around all the time, smothering him. Like I said, we have our work cut out for us!
      Good luck with your dryer!

      • Your welcome.

        About music. I have dabbled in music for a good while. I don’t play much anymore due to nerve damage in my hands(not related to music).
        The only advice Ill give to anyone about music is this; Inferior instruments are one of the main reasons people stop playing. Reason being, it becomes so frustrating for anyone to learn if they have to learn on cheap instruments. (When I say cheap I’m talking about quality, not cost.)
        I hear alot of the “We’ll just get junior a cheap instrument to start with and if he likes it then we’ll buy him a better one.”
        This is the biggest crock of BS. If the instrument is of an inferior quality to start with the budding musician will loose interest in playing as more than likely it will be unplayable without damaging his hands or creating frustration, etc.
        When a beginner starts of on a good instrument and stops playing, the fault lies in the student, not the instrument. There is no other excuse, as he can’t blame the instrument.
        That said, when and if you have to purchase an instrument, consider your self lucky that you live in today’s world of good quality instruments for a reasonable price.
        For example. I own a guitar that is almost professional quality and it only cost me $600.00.
        In the past, to obtain an instrument of the quality I own, one would have payed $1700.00 and up. Way up.
        Which may sound like alot, but I know jazz bass players whose instruments, if sold, will buy them a new car. A nice new car, not an econo-box. No exaggeration. When traveling by plane, they must purchase a seat for the instrument as they can’t let it out of their sight. Symphony musicians suffer the same fate. If two musicians are up for the same seat the musician with the better instrument will get the job.
        Not trying to scare you, but these are the facts of a musician’s life.


  6. The snip is always worse than anyone describes. Hopefully you are doing OK, as no posts have been since you got it….
    No Nonsense Landlord recently posted…How to Get the Best Tenants into Your Rental PropertyMy Profile

  7. Hey pretired Nick where you been? I hope all bodily procedures went well, haha. How’s the little one doing? Well I hope you are retired somewhere or close to FI. Good Luck.
    Rich Uncle EL recently posted…Personal Finance Myths We Need to IgnoreMy Profile

  8. Nick, it worries me that you stopped posting for 2+ years once you got the vasectomy! Was it really that bad? Did it change your mood and outlook and stuff?

    I hope everything is OK!

    Financial Samurai recently posted…The Financial Samurai Investment Tracker SpreadsheetMy Profile

    • At first I clicked on this article, and I thought it was current, as in perhaps a day. Then I read your comment and realized how funny it really is. Ha, hah, love it.

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